how much are you throwing away because you're clinging onto the story of "right thing" or "perfect person"?
Your sister's line about culture is 🤌
Great post, Tobi. The section on soulmates reminds me of a tweet I saw recently. It basically said that when we have a long-term partner we're choosing to be annoyed or frustrated with the person we love most. Because when you hang around anyone for an extended period of time, it's inevitable that you'll be annoyed or frustrated at some point. That flys in the face of the idea of a soulmate. And it's probably at the root of a lot of breakups and divorces.
Thanks for the shout, brotha!
Another amazing piece, Toby. I’ve been thinking about these ideas quite a bit lately - how much of the good (or even great) we miss if we’re only willing to accept perfect.
In looking for or believing in something that’s marketed as perfect out of the box, we really discount our own agency in shaping how that thing turns out. Things don’t merely happen to us. We also mold the way things turn out via our attitude, effort, actions, and perception.
Also, this line really hit: “Do you really want the job or what the job might say about you?” I spent a lot of time falling in the latter and it’s cool to pull yourself out and start thinking about opportunities through the lens of the former.
I’m working on a startup’s brand right now and the “Tech dream job” promises-broken weighs heavily on my mind. Fulfillment SHOULD come from elsewhere in your life (unless they suck the life out of you first). You gave me a lot to think about here.
As for soulmates, my partner of 14 years is exactly the person I needed to meet, when we met, in order to grow into who I am today. I could’ve embarked on a banquet of adventures (or even lack thereof). Free will showed me to choose his wagon, but acting as if it’s destiny allows me to be present and fulfilled by my “one.” I can’t imagine how unhappy I’d be if I was always on the side search for the BBD.