What do you do when your money becomes a prison? Is it worth chasing $$ if you're gonna be depressed and wealthy? Are you flying first class on a crashing plane?
This accounting of your life ledger transported me to my previous “tech” life. I loved and celebrated that life for a long time until a heaviness set in that I couldn’t shake. I went to therapy to shake it off. To fix me. It wasn’t until I moved across the world and spent quality time with myself that the beach ball was freed of its weights and allowed to surface. Bobbing along in a vast ocean can feel disorienting and vulnerable, but it’s like the matrix; once you experience it, you can never return.
Good work on quitting! The way you take us through it in this writing gives me goosebumps.
It's been 10 years now since I left Silicon Valley. Far less money in my bank account, but each day feels far more valuable, if that makes sense. Never once regretted that move.
These days I am living in a country I had never even thought of visiting before. I wake up and am totally and completely thankful for where I am and what I am doing. I never imagined that was possible, and could never have planned it this way, even if I did think it was possible.
I think many of us have taken that plunge, but not many of us wrote about it regularly in public, especially in open and humbling ways. That makes me quite glad to see yours.
Keep it up. Trust the gut more than your plan. You'll meet some fellow travelers on the way. Feel free to reach out, too.
"What’s the point of flying first class on a crashing plane?"
Wow! What a great metaphor. I related to so much of your story Tobi. In tech in particular, the allure of the next big paycheck, bonus, payoff that's just a few months down the line. I remember saying to a coworker once, "there is always going to be another bonus to stay for".
Good luck on your sabbatical! My own really helped me do some self reflection and now a couple years out of corporate, I can see how much happier and more fulfilled I am in my life. It's a journey, but I think a worthwhile one!
haha thank you :). Yeah definitely, I once had a spreadsheet where I'd look at the future bonuses/vests and try to imagine how many would be enough - a pointless task because there's never enough once you're immersed in that world haha. I'd set a goalpost, then I'd be like "but one more wouldn't hurt".
Thank you! I saw your podcast with Paul Millerd, it's great to see examples of people who've taken the plunge and ended up happier and more fulfilled. Very inspiring.
ha! a spreadsheet is probably the best way to see that it's never ending. And thank you so much for listening! I'm happy that ever since I've been publishing online, I've been finding more people on the "pathless path." It's so cool to see other people like you writing about their journey!
haha that's true, I imagined that the longer I stayed, there'd be even more bonuses, so more rows to add in the future. but you're right, still never-ending.
yeah same here! actually, when I decided to quit, one of my first ideas was to create a group of other "wanderers" who meet online maybe once a month. haven't started it yet but may still do so. the journey can be a little lonely at times so community can really help
Tobi, this is fantastic! Hope you're doing well these days and in the months since you wrote this.
I've considered this many times myself and I think this is the sort of thing many people feel and think about but don't know how to express, don't know who to talk to about it, and don't know if/how they can make it happen.
"My light would be too dimmed, outlook too pessimistic and aura too muted, and to what end?"
The idea of never finding out what your aura could be is so haunting. Hope your light is shining brightly now.
Yeah I agree that this feeling is more common than it seems. I've talked to a number of people who feel the same way. But it's daunting right. You feel like you're "winning" because money, status, prestige etc but if it's costing you more....then you can't afford it.
So far so good, can't complain. Glad to have you here!
I have to admit, I'm a bit shaken by what I just read. It felt like my inner voice talking to me. There is probably a higher percentage of people than we think out there facing the same dilemma.
I appreciate the candor! Definitely agree that many others feel this discomfort. I know a bunch of friends and former coworkers who struggle with this. I hope you are able to find some relief by taking whatever action makes sense in your case!
This accounting of your life ledger transported me to my previous “tech” life. I loved and celebrated that life for a long time until a heaviness set in that I couldn’t shake. I went to therapy to shake it off. To fix me. It wasn’t until I moved across the world and spent quality time with myself that the beach ball was freed of its weights and allowed to surface. Bobbing along in a vast ocean can feel disorienting and vulnerable, but it’s like the matrix; once you experience it, you can never return.
Spectacular ending, Tobi. I am almost there with my decision. This helped!
Glad it resonated! All the best with your decision Rohan
Good work on quitting! The way you take us through it in this writing gives me goosebumps.
It's been 10 years now since I left Silicon Valley. Far less money in my bank account, but each day feels far more valuable, if that makes sense. Never once regretted that move.
Keep it up, friend!
Thank you Patrick! Wow ten years. You must have an ocean of stories. What are you up to these days? How are you finding it?
These days I am living in a country I had never even thought of visiting before. I wake up and am totally and completely thankful for where I am and what I am doing. I never imagined that was possible, and could never have planned it this way, even if I did think it was possible.
I think many of us have taken that plunge, but not many of us wrote about it regularly in public, especially in open and humbling ways. That makes me quite glad to see yours.
Keep it up. Trust the gut more than your plan. You'll meet some fellow travelers on the way. Feel free to reach out, too.
"What’s the point of flying first class on a crashing plane?"
Wow! What a great metaphor. I related to so much of your story Tobi. In tech in particular, the allure of the next big paycheck, bonus, payoff that's just a few months down the line. I remember saying to a coworker once, "there is always going to be another bonus to stay for".
Good luck on your sabbatical! My own really helped me do some self reflection and now a couple years out of corporate, I can see how much happier and more fulfilled I am in my life. It's a journey, but I think a worthwhile one!
haha thank you :). Yeah definitely, I once had a spreadsheet where I'd look at the future bonuses/vests and try to imagine how many would be enough - a pointless task because there's never enough once you're immersed in that world haha. I'd set a goalpost, then I'd be like "but one more wouldn't hurt".
Thank you! I saw your podcast with Paul Millerd, it's great to see examples of people who've taken the plunge and ended up happier and more fulfilled. Very inspiring.
ha! a spreadsheet is probably the best way to see that it's never ending. And thank you so much for listening! I'm happy that ever since I've been publishing online, I've been finding more people on the "pathless path." It's so cool to see other people like you writing about their journey!
haha that's true, I imagined that the longer I stayed, there'd be even more bonuses, so more rows to add in the future. but you're right, still never-ending.
yeah same here! actually, when I decided to quit, one of my first ideas was to create a group of other "wanderers" who meet online maybe once a month. haven't started it yet but may still do so. the journey can be a little lonely at times so community can really help
Incredibly inspiring. What a wild and brave leap you took. I hope it's treating you well.
Tobi, this is fantastic! Hope you're doing well these days and in the months since you wrote this.
I've considered this many times myself and I think this is the sort of thing many people feel and think about but don't know how to express, don't know who to talk to about it, and don't know if/how they can make it happen.
"My light would be too dimmed, outlook too pessimistic and aura too muted, and to what end?"
The idea of never finding out what your aura could be is so haunting. Hope your light is shining brightly now.
Excited to read more from you!
Hey Jordan! Thanks for reaching out man.
Yeah I agree that this feeling is more common than it seems. I've talked to a number of people who feel the same way. But it's daunting right. You feel like you're "winning" because money, status, prestige etc but if it's costing you more....then you can't afford it.
So far so good, can't complain. Glad to have you here!
Nice Tobi! I’m glad you chose happiness. That’s always the right choice :-) Wishing you the best!!
Thanks Leo! Wishing you the best as well, excited to keep reading your stuff
Likewise!
I have to admit, I'm a bit shaken by what I just read. It felt like my inner voice talking to me. There is probably a higher percentage of people than we think out there facing the same dilemma.
Thanks for sharing.
I appreciate the candor! Definitely agree that many others feel this discomfort. I know a bunch of friends and former coworkers who struggle with this. I hope you are able to find some relief by taking whatever action makes sense in your case!
Starting my Substack in the summer of 2021 was that first piece in the new journey I intend to explore in the years to come. Cheers !
Best of luck on your adventure!
I always enjoy reading what you have to say. Thanks for the insights and hope you're vibing!
Thanks Calvin! Good to hear from you. And I'm doing my best haha
I've seen myself do some of the same things, reassuring to hear that I'm not alone! I'll have some updates of my own to share soon enough :)
haha I suspect there are lots of others out there feeling this. Excited to see what you have to share :)